Another Disaster

Sacramento Kings 107, New York Knicks 97

I was very worried heading into the game against Sacramento on Wednesday night. The Kings were 11-18, missing their four best players (Ron Artest, Mike Bibby, Kevin Martin and Shareef Abdur-Rahim) and had not had a lead greater than 13 points during the entire season.

I shouldn't have fretted. Sacramento passed the 13-point mark in the second quarter, at which point the "Fire Isiah" chants began raining down. According to Walt "Clyde" Frazier and Mike Breen, it was the earliest in a game the ubiquitous chorus had started.

There's a consistent mediocrity, at times barely detectable, which can make you drift into a have while watching the Knicks. They're down by two points; blink your eyes twice, and the deficit has grown to 15. The Knicks were down by double digits early on and stayed there for the rest of the game, and I'm not entirely sure how it happened. That was an eminently winnable game, and the Kings are clearly not a good team. They would have collapsed in the second half if New York had not already given up.

That led to the depressing spectacle of Clyde and Breen spending the final 24 minutes discussing various ways in which the Knicks were a complete embarrassment. The latter provided this memorable comment midway through the third quarter:

"This crowd is just bored. They're not even booing anymore."

A moment later, John Salmons stole the ball and went down the open court for a relaxed reverse jam. The boos came cascading down again. By the end, Isiah looked ready to stick his head in the sand for a few centuries, Malik Rose begged his team to try harder and Zach Randolph got tossed for tossing his headband in frustration. Even the impressive return of Stephon Marbury was overshadowed by the mounds of crappiness stinking up the Garden. Rose, apparently, has publicly stated that the team simply doesn't care.

Compare that to the Sacramento starters (mostly backups until the stars got hurt), who looked like hardwood gods after playing the Knicks. Salmons accounted for 32 points, 11 boards, six assists and six steals. Francisco Garcia scored 22 points, and Brad Miller added 26 points and 16 rebounds.

Eddy Curry, meanwhile, came out "on fire" after the False Prophet decided to give up on his revamped lineup and go back to starting Curry and Randolph together. But even though Big Useless notched 15 points in the first quarter, his defense probably gave up 25, and he went 4 for 11 from the line.

In other words, it was one monumental, execrable performance. It's still early, but I think this team is special. The Knicks could end up being awful in unique and interesting ways. We are witnessing historic moments this season.

The moment that really stood out for me, though, was when Garcia dived into the baseline crowd while going after a loose ball. There were three minutes left in the game, and his team had a big lead. That's passion. The story of Mikki Moore offered a similar conclusion. As Frazier mentioned at one point, Moore went undrafted out of Nebraska and played in Greece, the CBA and the NBDL. He also got cut by seven different NBA teams. But he worked hard and persevered to the point where he's currently earning $6 mil per year from Sacramento, where he's a valuable contributor. Can you imagine if even one player on the Knicks had that kind of commitment and work ethic.

Next up: Knicks at Spurs at 8:30 p.m. on Friday.
Best-case scenario: While considering the matchup between the best and worst NBA teams of this decade, Isiah falls into a catatonic stupor and can't be moved from his hiding place under a chair in the locker room. The Knicks forfeit
Worst-case scenario: Umm, there is none. There is no way the Knicks will win this game.

Marks of Futility

The Knicks are the basketball version of the post-steroids Jason Giambi - flabby, gaunt, overpaid and a complete disaster on the playing field.

"Could It Get Worse for the Knicks?"

That was the headline question in the Times sports section Tuesday. Thankfully and hilariously, the paper didn't require anyone to read the actual article to get the answer. The end of the header read "Amazingly, Yes."

Does someone at the Times read this blog? Probably not. But Mike Ogle's look back at the year that was and the one still to come answered some questions raised by my latest post. Yes, the Knicks are on pace for 22-23 wins and 59-60 losses. In the historical framework, those are awful results but potentially record-breaking ones. Yes, it is obvious that the Knicks are bad in an epic way right now. But it will take hard work to set a historical low.

Team Titanic 1, Larry Brown's 2005-6 squad is currently tied with the 1985-6 edition of the Knickerbockers with a 23-59 record. Those are the most losses in franchise history. Three Knicks teams, however, won fewer games. They were all from the early 1960s, when a season had fewer contests. The all-time mark of ignominy goes to the 1960-1 squad that went 21-58 for a .266 winning percentage.

Right now, the Knicks are winning a .276 clip. That puts some new records within striking distance. We may all look back on 2007-8 as the season of utter shittiness.

This passage from Ogle's article also intrigued me:

"Two weeks ago, Coach Isiah Thomas said that in another two weeks it would be a fair question to ask him, as the team's president, if his job as coach should be in jeopardy."

Dear Lord, how did this news escape me? How could any reporter have underplayed this tidbit? This should have been the basketball version of the General Petraeus report. The media horde should have descended upon Madison Square Garden, waiting for the False Prophet to hold forth with stoic, sunny optimism and that plastered-on smile of idiocy. Alas, we all missed a great opportunity to take insanity and absence-of-reality to a whole new level of hyperbole and comedy.

Even so, the inevitable follow-up to Isiah's timetable was delicious:

"When reminded of that statement at Monday’s practice and asked what he thought about his job status now that the losing had continued unabated, Thomas replied, 'We’ll keep moving in this direction.'"

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Is he completely fucking mad? Is that the let's-lose-lots-of-games-and-suck-worse-than-Jason-Giambi- after-he-stopped-juicing direction? Thankfully, we got clarification from Ogle:

"Which direction is that? 'Me as coach,' he replied."

Oh. Well that makes just as much sense.

Berman Boils Over

This was written four days ago, but I didn't see it until now. Apparently, after the starting lineup debacle on Wednesday in Orlando, Post beat writer Marc Berman just blew a fuse. The result? Several days of vacation and this world-weary comment on the Post's Knicks Blog:

"I've got a basketball hangover from last night - still trying to figure it out - more confusing than Shakespeare's 'Comedy of Errors.'' The only logical explanation is Isiah Thomas is pulling a Larry Brown and trying to get fired. By the end of the Orlando night, Eddy Curry was more peeved than Zach Randolph, who vented before the game after being yanked from the starting lineup. Of course 2/3 of that starting lineup was changed at halftime. Isiah truly is a man of convictions."

Pretty standard Knicks postgame nausea, right? But then Berman provides this interesting factoid:

"Last night, Orlando president Pat Williams gave me his new book, 'The Ultimate Coaches' Clinic.' The book contains hundreds of coaches giving their tips on coaching. Isiah Thomas' advice is on page 98 and is laughable. Thomas: 'There are two types of coaches. 1. Values-based caoches [sic] who are concerned with the lives of the players.' 2. 'Just-coach-the-game coaches and that's it.' You have to decide who you are and build your principles around that. You have to make up your mind to be one or the other. 'Yes, Isiah, time to make up your mind who you are. At 8-20, the Knicks are on pace for 24 wins, one head of Larry Brown's original Team Titanic. I'm staying out here in Florida the next few days to escape the madness."

Team Titanic? Another great nickname. So let's start calling the 2007-2008 Knicks Team Titanic 2.

And lets hope that the Knicks don't drive any more sportswriters to soul-numbing despair.

Incidentally, New York is now 8-21. That's on pace for 22.6 wins (normally I'd round that up to 23, but these are the Knicks). It's also the fourth-worst record in the league. Miami, Memphis and Minnesota are worse.

But things are worse than that. The Knicks have a league-leading 14 losses by 10 points or more.They also have five losses by at least 26 points. And of the team's eight victories, only one came against a winning team - Denver.

Big Man Psychology

Chicago Bulls 100, New York Knicks 83

So with the shit hitting the fan as loss followed loss, the False Prophet pulled out this gem from his bag of tricks on Sunday - the old flip-flop switcharoo. After Isiah Thomas bungled his unvaunted lineup change on Wednesday, he came back with the inevitable correction against the Bulls: Zach Randolph plays, Eddy Curry sits.

And that made Howard Beck of the Times give us this:

"The day began with Curry out of the starting lineup for the first time in two seasons, the latest desperation move by Coach Isiah Thomas to break his team’s funk. The day ended with another rout — a 100-83 loss to the Chicago Bulls — followed by a tedious marathon interview at Curry’s locker stall, where he was asked 50 different ways about the benching while his teammates dressed and left. Curry said the demotion left him numb, which on balance seemed preferable to depressed. 'It definitely bugs me,' Curry said. 'I think I’m a starter in this league. But I guess not on this team.'"

There's something tragicomic about this exercise in pop psychology. Imagine the scene: Dozens of modern scribes gather round the bloated man-child of the moment, raining down questions as he offers sheer pathos in return.

Eddy Curry, Jamal Crawford and Stephon Marbury get their bench faces ready

And as Beck has done so wonderfully recently, that lede was followed with the most casual and subtle of putdowns. Where other writers scream their anger, Beck applies calculated disdain.

"Then again, Curry may just need to wait a few days for Thomas to change his mind again. Thomas has shaken up the lineup in two straight games, with two straight losses to show for it, and seems inclined to keep tinkering until something clicks. The Knicks (8-21) would seem to have little to lose anymore, aside from a few wispy strands of morale floating through the Madison Square Garden corridors. They lost four straight games and 10 of their last 12 to close out 2007, never showing any reason to believe they will be better in 2008."

In the meantime, the Knicks did their best to help new Bulls head coach Jim Boylan pull a Lawrence Frank. Maybe this is the break Chicago needed on the way to a playoff season.

Alan Hahn, incidentally, delivered this nice rant on Knicks Fix before gametime. It's enjoyable enough to copy almost in its entirety:

"When Isiah Thomas strolls into the Garden around 10:20 a.m. this morning -- barely 90 minutes before tip-off -- you can't help but wonder if a sense of urgency really exists at all. As Walt Clyde Frazier might say, now's the time for stressin' and obsessin'! Now's the time for dark circles under the eyes. Pulling out hair. Burning the candle at both ends. Sleeping in the office with video tape piled up around you. Now's not the time for giving two days off in between losses and after you threaten lineup changes.Now's not the time for inviting Roy Jones, Jr. into practice. Now's not the time to shuffle the lineup like a deck of cards without making sure every single player knows and understands what his new role will be in the change. I'm tossing the keys on the table here. Running out of things to blog at this point."

That's understandable. Hahn has been at this a lot longer than I have. But I'll trudge on in the meantime. Taking a daily dump on these fools who play for the Knicks is too much fun.

By the way, remember when Knicks-Bulls meant something special - the Garden going crazy, a super-intense matchup, a game that kept New York still for a few hours. Those memories are starting to get the dull patina of old age.

Next up: Kings at Knicks at 7:30 p.m. on Wednesday.
Best-case scenario - Ron Artest makes a triumphant return to New York by scoring 38 and shutting down Jamal Crawford so completely that Crawford announces his immediate retirement.
Worst-case scenario - Ron Artest demands a trade to the Knicks and promises to pump some life back into the team.

Doonesbury Weighs In

This Doonesbury strip comes from Alan Hahn's "Knicks Fix" blog at Newsday. It ran there several weeks ago, and I couldn't resist adding it here. Now IiW is strictly non-political, so just bear through the beginning and wait for the punch line in the final frame.

Bad Curry

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Big Useless

One more thing about Eddy Curry. 82games.com did some individual defensive rankings back in summer 2005. Among the 43 centers ranked according to their defensive contributions, Curry was 38th, right ahead of Mark Blount and just behind Nazr Mohammed. Yeah, that was two years ago, but it's still a good indication of how worthless Curry is.

So let's go over this one final time. Curry doesn't play defense (Scott Skiles, his former head coach with the Chicago Bulls, once said he needed to put more effort into jumping), is a lackluster rebounder and is one of the biggest turnover machines in the NBA. He also has a big contract doling out $12 million per year, the worst +/- on the Knicks, a heart problem and no apparent desire to try harder.

And for all this, the Knicks gave up Tim Thomas, Michael Sweetney, Jermaine Jackson, a first-rounder in 2006 that became Tyrus Thomas, the switcharoo in the 2007 first round that netted Joakim Noah for Chicago, a second-rounder last summer that eventually became Kyrylo Fesenko and a second-rounder in the 2009 draft. In other words, the Knicks won't be done paying for this trade until 2009.

So to go with his nickname King of Turnovers, I hereby also decree that Curry shall be known as Big Useless.

82 Games

Zach Randolph, the best player on the
Knicks, according to 82games.com

Remember that graphic from the Times a few days ago, the one that showed how Curry and Randolph played together using +/- data? It came from a site called 82games.com. I've now placed that site's Knicks page in my links at right.

Reading through it is a fun statistical excursion, with some interesting results. The two Knicks with the best ratings on the site are rookies Wilson Chandler and Randolph Morris, who both basically never play. So eliminating the garbage-time kids from the equation, only three players have a positive rating: Zach Randolph at 2.2, Jamal Crawford at 2.1 and David Lee at 1.3.

The rest of the Knicks? Well, they just are bad for the team statiscally. Mardy Collins bottoms out in the ratings at -21.5, while Malik Rose follows at -11.5. But those two don't play much, earning only 9 and 11% of burn time on the floor. The third worst player is a starter, though - Quentin Richardson, trailing the pack with a rating of -8.0. To provide some context, Spencer Hawes of the Sacramento Kings has the same rating. Players like the Hornets' Hilton Armstrong and the Bucks' Royal Ivey are a little bit ahead.

As for Randolph's team-leading 2.2, that's just a tad behind what Ime Udoka is doing for the Spurs.

Despite his low rating, Rose leads the Knicks in +/- with 22, though his playing time could easily make that a statistical anomaly. Only two other players are on the plus side, and they are - you guessed it - the seldom seen rookies again. Eddy Curry brings up the rear with an abysmal mark of -196, despite being on the floor only 54% of the time.

The site also provides stats for five-man groups to see who plays best together. Four of the top five quintets have a negative +/-. The lone exception is the group of Crawford, Fred Jones, Richardson (which is really surprising), Lee and Randolph.

Eddy Curry, "King of Turnovers"

And best of all, 82games just completely savages Curry. If the analysis is correct, he might just be the most useless player in the league considering his exorbitant salary. And that's not even taking into account his heart problems (medical) and his heart problems (motivational).

In an article from last March/April, Curry had the most offensive fouls in the league with 68 (far ahead of runner-up Amare Stoudemire). Randolph, incidentally, was third. Curry was also eighth in "lost-ball" turnovers (Randolph tied for ninth) and first in three-second violations with a stunning 34. 82games promptly gave him the title "King of Turnovers."

On a sidenote, Jamal Crawford was revealed as a particularly risky ballhandler. He led the NBA in palming violations and tied for sixth in double dribbles.

Assuming the Worst

Orlando Magic 110, New York Knicks 96

It's not often that sportswriters go to a game assuming one of the coaches is an idiot. Despite any notions of impartiality, sportswriters certainly have some assumptions: Peyton Manning is a good passer, Bill Belichick knows what he's doing, Tiger Woods will probably pull away down the stretch.

But you don't see this often: The head coach is a raging moron, and we should have expected the worst.

But the age of caution is long gone in New York, especially when the Knicks are concerned. And sportswriters are gleefully unleashing some verbal uppercuts. The Post weighed in most savagely after Wednesday's loss to the Magic, with writer Marc Berman delivering this lede:

"Isiah Thomas' ballyhooed changes to the starting lineup last night caused more chaos and confusion."

But the article didn't end there. The hits just kept coming:

"With Thomas taking another page from the 'how-to-get-fired' handbook, the Knicks (8-20) notched their 20th loss last night, folding in the fourth quarter in a 110-96 defeat to the Magic at Amway Arena. The only thing Thomas accomplished was Curry and Randolph weren't on the court together all night. In the land of make-believe, this was unbelievable even by Thomas standards. After two days, Thomas stuck with his new starting lineup for two minutes. Then he had an entirely new alignment to start the second half. ... But after Curry picked up two fouls 2:06 into the game, Randolph was inserted and Curry was not heard from again. That is, until the start of the fourth quarter, when Thomas inexplicably attempted to defrost Curry, who was shocked to be put back in."

"How-to-get-fired" handbook, land of make-believer, defrost Curry - that's enough vitriol to make me giggle with pleasure. Add to that the hyperbolic, punny header: "Magic Kingdumb," followed by the equally insulting sub-headline, "Isiah Bungles Lineup Shakeup in Orlando." My only regret is that I didn't actually see the game, my night being occupied with prior plans.

Ken Berger of Newsday delivered an almost equally vicious lede in his gamer:

"Only the Knicks could make a drastic lineup change and have it blow up in their face in two minutes and six seconds. Only the Knicks could bench the wrong big man, anger both of them, bring the guy who should have been benched to begin with into the game after he'd sat for 34 minutes, and turn a three-point game into a blowout in the first 2 1/2 minutes of the fourth quarter. Confused? So are the Knicks. So, evidently, is the coach. Nothing makes sense with this team anymore, not after last night's inexplicable 110-96 loss to the Orlando Magic. 'We're all just trying to find answers here,' Knicks coach Isiah Thomas said. Sure. Wrong ones."

Howard Beck of the Times was a little more sedate, but even he had to offer some criticism:

"Coach Isiah Thomas furiously shuffled bodies all night in a vain search for an identity on a team that has none."

With blows this voluble landing, it seems fair to ask if the sportswriters were piling on. The answer is simple - of course they were, and the Knicks deserved it. What's more, piling on is fun in this situation. It's what this blog is dedicated to.

My last question was will Curry bit the dust? I'm still not sure if the answer is yes or no. Despite pre-game speculation almost unanimous on a switch of Curry for David Lee, Isiah kept Curry in the lineup over the far more productive Randolph, who was benched for Lee. But then Curry played less than five minutes overall, giving way to Randolph, who played most of the game and provided plenty of offense.

The other lineup change was even more surprising as the False Prophet put in Jared Jeffries for Fred Jones. No matter what Jones has done wrong over the past month, I think just about everyone knows that Jeffries is not the answer.

The important thing is that the Knicks are 8-20. Unfortunately, the pack of terrible teams is large this year, but New York has a good opportunity to secure the title of "Worst in the East" soon. The Knicks' biggest rival now is the Miami Heat, who are a half-game back.

Next up: Bulls at Knicks at noon on Sunday.
Best-case scenario - Jim Boylan's rise to head coach spurs the Bulls to a 40-point win. Buoyed by the success, the Bulls go on to sweep the Knicks over the season, ending with Viktor Khryapa dropping 60 points in a couple of months.
Worst-case scenario - The Knicks are so impressed they decide to trade their next two first-round picks for Viktor Khryapa.

Will Curry Bite the Dust?

So by tomorrow morning's shootaround, we will all know what the hullabaloo's all about. Isiah Thomas admitted after the loss on Sunday to the Lakers that it was time to shake things up in the starting lineup.

Cue the thunder and drama. Almost all observers have assumed that Eddy Curry will get the hook and be replaced as a starter by David Lee. Unfortunately, this development has the real and very scary potential of actually improving the Knicks.

I mean, that's quite a notion - the only player on the team who clearly cares about winning should start. It only took Isiah four seasons to figure out that in the pampered NBA superstar universe, a big difference in effort and motivation trumps a small difference in talent.

Anyway, I enjoyed this article from the Times' Howard Beck about the problems of playing Curry and Zach Randolph (above left) at the same time. Some of the nice tidbits:

"Randolph (a power forward) and Curry (a center) are, of course, not the team’s only problems. The Knicks are terrible defensively, and have been for several seasons. They are stocked with gifted one-on-one scorers who struggle to mesh in a team game. They lack a true, undisputed leader."
...
"Thomas has promoted the idea that Randolph’s outside shooting ability makes him a complementary player to Curry. But all three scouts interviewed for this article disagreed."
...
"All three scouts recommended moving Curry or Randolph to the bench and minimizing their minutes together. Only one of the three scouts expressed any belief that the tandem might improve over time. Then again, the Knicks’ problems may be much bigger than their big men. The Pacific Division scout said the Knicks simply lacked an identity. 'Certain teams, you know what they do,' said the scout, pointing to Washington (which runs the Princeton motion offense) and New Orleans (pick-and-rolls with Chris Paul), among others. 'Everyone has principles or cores. New York, they’ve got a lot of individual offensive talent, but they don’t have, it seems to me, any principles, any cores.'"

No principles, no cores. That's a nice summary of the state of things in New York.

The graphic (above) that accompanied the article was also interesting. It's about time plus/minus was regularly calculated as an NBA stat like it is for hockey. Curry's mark of -11 overall and -16 while playing without Randolph is simply astonishing. He's also been on the negative side during every season in his career.

Hail the Daily News

In keeping with the theme of Isiah Thomas' four-year anniversary over the weekend, check out this retrospective by Frank Isola of the Daily News. It opens with one of those classic attempts by Isiah to rationalize the mess he created:

"We started from deep, deep, deep in the hole. We started with a cap number that was probably the highest of any NBA team in history and a low talent level and a building that was empty. Now we have a building that is full, probably one of the most profitable franchises in the NBA. Our cap number's down and our talent base is good. We're young, we're improving and we still have a lot of room for growth. Now we've got to put some wins on the other side of the ledger."

Ah yes, winning - that's the only accomplishment Isiah and the Knicks are missing. Too goddamn bad it's the only important one. And by the way, what's the salary number now? Is Isiah even aware that the NBA has a luxury tax and not a salary cap?

Isola's column is a nice, albeit brief look back at four years that could be a primer on how to suck in the NBA. Some of the Isiah's early, stupid moves are now quite forgotten after the fiascos of Jerome James and Jared Jeffries in the past year. But Isola reminds us of the idiocy of yesteryear, highlighting such personnel gems as the Steve Francis acquisition. Good times. It also included a few moves I didn't know about, like Isiah firing Mike Saunders.

It's always fun to trash something in print (witness this blog). That's why movie critics love what they do. They find new putdowns for the latest on-screen dreck. But it's tough to rail against Isiah in an interesting and fresh way after people have been doing it for four years. That's why I liked Isola's column.


Also, major props to the Daily News for those "Fire Isiah" tearaway pages (pictured above). Yeah, it might not be impartial, but aren't we a little past that by now?