The Berman Trifecta

Toronto Raptors 99, New York Knicks 90

Chris Bosh goes medieval on the Knicks

Apparently, the Knicks lost last night. I wouldn't know for sure; I was too busy drinking. But all the papers say so. Either way, that's always welcome news.

But I'm far more excited about the Marc Berman's report in the Post that Isiah Thomas is considering leaving the bench and moving back up to the executive suite, despite all his vociferous, public denials.

According to the article, the False Prophet thinks most of his players go into games expecting to lose and he only likes three of them - Jamal Crawford, David Lee and Nate Robinson.

Now this is the sort of shit that drives me absolutely nuts. Of those three players, Crawford is the only one who starts. The others come off the bench. Look, I'm all for losing right now. But if Zeke had a non-stupid bone in his body or even one brain cell that was not tragically subpar, he might figure out that he should be starting the players who actually care about the game, especially since they're quite talented.

Of course, even though the prospect of Isiah canning himself as coach is delicious, it's a mere distraction - a band-aid placed on a festering wound. I am set on this point: The Knicks will never be good as long as Thomas (and most likely James Dolan as well) remains in charge.

Back to the game. I do regret missing this one because it apparently featured a nice little war of words between Zach Randolph and the False Prophet. Randolph, wonderfully enough, went scoreless, while Chris Bosh tomahawk slammed the Knicks into submission with 40 points.

I hope you enjoy this picture of the Evil Gnome in prime lumpy mode - look at those jowls

Has anyone noticed how well big men do against New York. First Yao Ming scores a season high, then Bosh falls two points short of his career high. Randolph, apparently, can't guard a cup of tea. As for his partner-in-crime, the Big Useless (Eddy Curry), he can't guard shit on a stick. And these are our two marquee players.

Berman, meanwhile, delivered the piece de resistance of his hat trick yesterday on his blog:

"Isiah Thomas called my story that stated he's considering removing himself from the bench to concentrate on the presidency 'a lie.' Isiah should know about lies because we've heard many of them for four years."

Ouch.

Also recommended: Alan Hahn's latest blog entry, which includes plenty of zingers for all the Knicks.

Next up: Pistons at Knicks at 7 p.m. on Sunday.
Best-case scenario: Rasheed Wallace drops 50 points, and Isiah responds by pulling both Curry and Randolph and then getting into a fight with them on the court.
Worst-case scenario: Zeke starts Lee and Robinson, and the Knicks respond with a 98-point win.

The Banality of Losing

Houston Rockets 101, New York Knicks 92

Yao welcomed the Knicks back to reality on Wednesday

What ever happened to the execrable, cringe-inducing, total-disaster, bad-poetry-in-motion Knicks of yesteryear? Don't you yearn for those days when New York was dropping each game by enough points to win most football games? Can you remember when ever game was almost an apocalypse on the court?

After yesterday's humdrum loss to the Rockets, those days seem so far away. The Knicks have now gone 10 games without losing by 20 or more. The largest margin of defeat in that span was 18 points. Don't worry, eight of those games were losses. But still, it's been a while since the Dumb Bunch dropped a game by 27 to the Indiana Pacers on Dec. 17.

Does this mean the team is getting better? We can only hope not.

Wednesday was a bit staid and offered little beyond the memorable spectacle of watching the Knicks miss their first 12 shots of the game, prompting Walt "Clyde" Frazier to openly yearn for the team to try starting a game with energy at some point. Mike Breen offered this rejoinder: "That is certainly not the Knicks' m.o."

Oh, and of course, Isiah got tossed. That was a sweet moment of serendipity, watching the False Prophet get the heave-ho for brushing an official. If only he had the bad sense to stay and embarrass himself further. Alas, the task of watching the Knicks melt down went to assistant coach Herb Williams.

The Times' Howard Beck affirmed that Tuesday's disastrous victory was (mercifully) a rare anomaly, just another fool's gold win. "Order was restored to the Knicks' universe Wednesday night," he wrote in his lede.

Beck also reported that Isiah declared all his players off limits to any trades this season, calling them "untouchable."

Howard, take it away:

"In other words, Thomas seemed satisfied with his team. Some players, like Marbury, may be untouchable because of their contracts. Other players may be untouchable simply because no one else wants them."

According to Marc Berman's gamer in the Post, getting ejected was deliberate on Isiah's part. You know, coach gets purposefully tossed in order to fire up his team. Well even Isiah's most unlikely strategies tend to suck, and last night was no exception. With Zeke in the locker room, the Knicks stunk more than usual.

Of course, getting tossed in basketball isn't like getting tossed in baseball. In basketball, the other team gets one or two free throws as a result. Isiah doesn't seem to realize that the Knicks can't afford to give away any points. In fact, he should petition the NBA to allow his squad to start with a handicap. From now on, the Knicks will begin every game with a 4-0 lead. Don't worry, they'll still lose in the end.

Mitch Lawrence from the Daily News wrote that Isiah's ploy his dumbest move of the season.

Yes, the 25-point embarrassments might not be regular as rain anymore, but after that terrible win in Chicago everything is well again in the the Knicks' world of misery.

Next up: Raptors at Knicks at 7:30 p.m. on Friday.
Best-case scenario: Devastated by his team's failure to match its best winning streak of the season (two games), Isiah resolves to start a streak of his own and purposefully gets ejected again.
Worst-case scenario: Herb inspires the players with a "let's not suck" plea for mediocrity.