Catch-82

San Antonio Spurs 97, New York Knicks 93

The original catch has nothing on Catch-82

That was almost a disaster. A day after I said the Knicks had no chance of beating the Spurs, they almost did just that. Maybe it's just the Spurs' style during the regular season of putting forward just enough energy to get the job done, but they let New York hang around way too long. There were times the Knicks looked downright pesky.

And for the sake of the franchise and its future, that's not a good thing right now.

In case you haven't noticed, I root against New York on a nightly basis. This is neither a consequence of some sudden turn against the team or a tendency toward miserable self-hatred. After four long years of the Isiah regime and two more seasons in purgatory with Scott Layden, losing is the Knicks' best and only option.

They must lose in order to win eventually, and that's the basis of Catch-82 (take a gander at the original catch if you desire).

Nothing will get better for the Knicks until the False Prophet and the Evil Gnome leave

Catch-82, named for the number of games in a season (which also might be the number the Knicks need to lose before the False Prophet gets the boot), posits that ultimate improvement and victory is impossible under present conditions - mainly the continued presence of Isiah as coach and GM, along with most of the players. Thus, the only way to ultimately get better is to get so bad that all the idiots that currently manage or play for the orange and blue get swept away.

In other words, the only way to win is to lose - a lot.

Simply being bad at your job (which is enough to get axed in most workplaces worldwide) simply won't do. We know this because of the ludicrous contract extension the False Prophet got last March after leading the Knicks to a 29-34 record at the time - you know, a losing record. No matter, MSG head honcho and evil gnome James Dolan ponied up a new deal for Zeke, explaining that he had "seen significant and evident progress."

The Knicks promptly fell apart and have remained putrid to this point. Nice contract-year work, Isiah. Mind you, this all followed several years of trades and signings so heinously stupid that most people quickly lost all faith in the team.

And now, with New York on pace to set franchise records for crappiness, Dolan reiterates his support on an almost weekly basis while Isiah grins and mumbles absurd championship predictions.

None of this is new. When asked on his show two months ago where the Knicks' infamous 45-point loss to the Boston Celtics came from, Jim Rome was incredulous. The past four years, he declared, was all you needed to look at to understand why New York was so bad.

Clearly, there is no prospect for improvement with the current situation. And the Evil Gnome has made it clear that there will be no changes if the Knicks continue sucking as they have all season. The only option than is obvious. If it ever wants to get better, the team has to lose as much as possible so that Isiah gets canned some day.

Four Years Gone

Scott Layden was a terrible GM, but he has been completely
overshadowed by the Isiah Thomas crapfest.

December 22, 2003 - a date which will live in infamy for Knicks fans - was four years gone on Saturday. Do you remember where you were when Isiah Thomas was hired as the Knickerbockers' new general manager?

I remember exactly how I learned the news. Sitting at the kitchen table, home from college for winter break, my brother came storming into the room and announced the tidbit he had just gleaned from the internet: Scott Layden, the maddeningly quiet and shady presence in the luxury box had finally been fired. His four-year reign of idiocy as GM of the Knicks was finally over. It was a span that had seen New York transformed from a perennial contender into a yearly also-ran, and Layden, a product of NBA nepotism with the Utah Jazz, was gone. My heart filled with joy.

A second later, my brother delivered the crushing letdown: Isiah Thomas had been hired as the new replacement. Rarely has such sheer exultation and utter despair coexisted so closely in consecutive moments. Neither the Knicks nor I have recovered since that fateful day.

Above, from left to right, Isiah Thomas, James Dolan and Steve Mills, the Garden's President of Sports Operations, pose together after Thomas was hired as the new Knicks GM in 2003. The team has been a catastrophe ever since.

I knew my team was in big trouble immediately. Isiah's track record spoke for itself: complete failure at every job he took since hanging up his jersey (and that, of course, is a long, woeful tale for another time).

Since then, my worst fears have been confirmed. The execrable on-court product of the Layden era has now become an embarrassment to the city in almost all areas of the organization.

The biggest surprise is how much patience the fans have given Isiah, who seems to survive at times merely thanks to the sleazy charm of the bullshit, pasted-on uber-smile that has obviously melted James Dolan's heart.

Layden got four years, and that was probably two years too long for that dipshit. Now Isiah has passed that mark and appears secure for the future despite recently earning his 201st loss in New York.

Hasn't it been enough? When will the suffering end?